Grief Counseling for Pregnancy Loss: Maybe you had a miscarriage. Maybe you have had more than one. Maybe you had to end a wanted pregnancy for medical reasons. Maybe you were so excited to be pregnant and feel totally crushed. Maybe you feel guilty, even though you know it isn’t your fault. Maybe you feel furious.

Maybe you are pregnant again and feel terrified. Maybe you are pregnant again and feel totally numb and disconnected from your pregnancy. Maybe your relationship with your partner has changed since your loss, and it’s unclear how the two of you will reconnect.

Maybe you had a difficult or life-threatening birth experience. Maybe things didn’t go as planned– maybe far from it. Maybe you weren’t treated the way you should have been during your labor. You might be mourning the birth story you wanted. You might be having flashbacks or big emotional swings recalling your birth experience, even though you want to focus on connecting with your baby and feel you should be happy and grateful to have “made it.”

You might feel alone, like no one understands, or like your story makes people uncomfortable. You may feel you can’t trust yourself, your body, or even your most deeply held beliefs about the world.

Therapy with me starts by making space for as honest an expression of your thoughts and feelings as possible, including thoughts that seem impossible to say out loud socially and feelings you might not even know are there unless someone asks. You can tell me your story as many times as you need to– the story of what happened, and the story of what should have happened. Together, we will write the next chapters.

Your goal may be:

• To make room for your feelings in all their complexity, and to grieve all of the many losses associated to miscarriage, recurrent pregnancy loss, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, termination for medical reasons, or stillbirth.
• To learn to better cope with post-traumatic stress symptoms while pregnant or parenting a newborn.
• To repair your sense of self and return to feeling whole again, whether or not you ultimately carry a pregnancy to term.
• To feel comfortable and confident advocating for yourself with family, friends, and medical providers.
• To calm down more easily and get more curious about strong feelings without letting them carry you away.
• To stop avoiding or downplaying your fears and needs in service of other people’s expectations.
• To figure out how to express what’s going on inside to the important people in your life.
• For you and your partner to understand each other’s grief processes and to discover ways to honor your experiences together, and perhaps decide collaboratively on next steps toward growing your family.

Specialized Support for Pregnancy After Loss:  We all know what pregnancy is “supposed to” be: a happy time full of anticipation and preparation for life with a new baby. But if you have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, or another type of pregnancy loss, that positive pregnancy test evokes a lot more than simple joy.

People in your life might expect you to be “fixed” by this new pregnancy— you also might have expected to feel a lot better. Aren’t you getting what you wanted?

You may benefit from therapy if:

• You feel really scared and anxious about doctor appointments, testing, and ultrasounds, even if every time you go in they say things are going well.
• You hyper-focus on every little sensation in your body.
• You feel isolated from other pregnant people because of what you have been through, even though you want to connect.
• You don’t know how to navigate talking about this new pregnancy with people in your life.
• You need support in deciding what kind of prenatal and birth care you need and/or in advocating for yourself with medical care provider

Therapy with me starts by making space for as honest an expression of your thoughts and feelings as possible, including thoughts that seem impossible to say out loud socially and feelings you might not even know are there unless someone asks.

This will most likely include talking about your loss experiences, but at your own pace and only when you are ready. We will focus on preparing for challenging medical appointments, social events, conversations, and anniversaries, and calming your nervous system to improve your day-to-day experience of this pregnancy. We will make room for both your hopes and fears.

With your permission, I will collaborate with your medical care providers to ensure trauma-informed care. I can help with recommendations for birth workers and doulas who get it.

I also provide single-session loss-informed birth planning consultations. Reach out for more information!